Birthdays used to be a big thing
for me. It’s pretty much the one day I would keenly look forward to aside from Aidilfitri. Nowadays however the
slightest mention of either would entail a certain dreaded feeling, the latter
being with the simpler reasoning of the two.
Aidilfitri for an adult means one thing more than anything else…
money! Yes, money that I am quickly running short of. Hence the immediate cause
for the dreaded feeling.
Birthdays however require a
lengthier explanation. You see, I am a young adult on a mission to achieve a
specific vision or goal to which I constantly push myself. I imagine myself
being in a certain social and financial position or rather stature if you like
before I reach 30 – I would gladly share my visions here except that I feel
it’s a little bit personal. I’m turning 28 this coming Thursday but I’m no
where near that vision. It all seems blur and getting more blurred by the day.
Not Lumut to Pangkor Island blur but instead Kuala Kedah to Langkawi Island. And yes, the latter being out of
sight rather than blur.
No, come to think of it, ‘it’
being personal has nothing to do with my reluctance to share it here. The
culprit I suspect is embarrassment. Yes, embarrassment. The fear of self
mortification. I’m so far from that vision that sharing it here would be plain
sad and pathetic. Hence the reason for this dreaded feeling right now.
Now that said, if you know me,
please do not wish me a happy birthday because if you do or intend to, you
might as well call me a ‘loser’!
Wait a minute! I think that this ‘thing’
against birthdays is quite common amongst fellow adults. After all any men in
the right frame of mind with a goal or vision would share this sentiment; which
leads me to draw the conclusion that the only adults enjoying birthdays are
either one of the following:
(i)
He’s successfully achieved his goal in life – which is
probably because his life goal is to able to say ‘dada’ in which case it was achieved when he was one, which in turn makes him a goal less adult which now explains
why he is contented with just a Proton
Saga BLM
OR
(ii)
He’s slowly dying of cancer.
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